The (Silent) Power of Anxiety
The (Silent) Power of Anxiety
If you are depressed, you are living in the past
If you are anxious, you are living in the future
If you are at peace, you are living in the present
Lao Tzu
Just breathe… I have heard this said, with well-meaning and love, a thousand times over the past 30 years. I even have it tattooed on my wrist! However, unless you have experienced a panic attack, one cannot truly have an idea of what anxiety and panic disorder feels like.
My journey into anxiety began at thirteen. I remember the day so well - my body turned to ice as my blood vessels contracted, leaving a sensation of pins and needles from my head to my upper torso. Saliva built up as I tried to calm my stomach, feeling like I wanted to either vomit or loosen my bowels. My chest tightened causing my arms to turn to lead. Inside my mind was screaming but no words could escape my lips - thoughts could not take hold, other than the surety that I was going to die… If this sounds familiar read on - because this story may give you hope!
During my early twenties I discovered talk therapy, which was incredibly helpful as when you verbalise you are able to acknowledge and this aided in unearthing where my anxiety was rooted. Knowledge is power, however in the harsh light of a panic attack these words fall away, so I turned to prescription medication - this was great! I used this crutch throughout my late twenties, and into my early thirties - although life became manageable I still had the odd attack and began to question what sort of chemicals I was introducing into my body - I continued with these meds as I delved into a more spiritual quest. Once I began studying Reiki I started to dislike the numbness I was feeling to all of life’s ebbs and flows. I was not truly experiencing life through this clouded haze so with guidance from my doctor I weaned myself off them. Then the anxiety truly took hold! I was having up to 3 panic attacks monthly… I did not want to go back to my chemical cloud, so I began to practise self-reiki daily - my breathing became so much better, and there was a renewed sense of calm. However it still felt like my blood was on slow simmer (you know the feeling!) By a series of chance, and universal intervention, I found myself at the Essential Health Wellness Centre in Kloof. Through bio-energetic stress testing it was apparent my adrenal system was shot. I was living in a constant state of fight or flight, and the stress this was putting on my entire body was very noticeable. Over the course of 3 months my lifestyle changed - I introduced small diet changes, a few herbal supplements, started yoga and continued to practice self-reiki and daily meditation. It has been 6 months and I have not experienced a full blown panic attack - my body is no longer in survival mode. Sure I get anxious once in awhile but for the most part I am feeling true inner peace.
This is my story. It is in no way meant to diagnose or replace prescriptions from a medical doctor. Always seek advice from a medical practitioner before embarking on alternatives to a medical condition.
- Dec 2017
